i know. i just want this NOW...lol....like i said, htis summer is going to be huge for us.
she's talked to me more today....LOL...our D2 said something funny while they were with me, and i texted W about it. Got a response. Good thing.
She's irritated because her friend (the one who she's confided in alot lately, and probably is her biggest supporter in this) is probably going to take away one of her summer school classes because she's got a little bit of seniority. It's going to cost my W two grand. I felt bad...and validated her. Wanted to say.."told you she would do it" and didn't try to solve her problem..........will if she asks for some sort of help.....
Sounds great, be on her side. I wouldn't try to solve her problem too much though, just talk to her about it if she brings it up...kind of lead her to a solution. You want this to be her idea, you don't want her to feel controlled. Something like this, I might throw out a few ideas if asked and then say something like what do you think. Show her that you are the better friend.....her best friend
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
i think that is yet another way she will learn her own lessons- she will get this from more places than just you DB'ing ..thats what happned with my H- work related stuff- brought up a lot of sh*t for him and now that I am DB'ing he saw that his work stuff was about him and his actions and he had to figure that out on his own. so maybe your W will see that her "friend" isnt the person she thought and it will proabably bring up a lot for her...this is where you get to be strong, listen and validate! is: "that must be hard"..."sounds like you have found ways to talk to her about it"..."oh i feel for ya"...wtc...life lessons are SO MUCH FUN (he he he)!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
The nice part about slow is there is less of a roller coaster ride, the pull backs don't seem to be as bad and everything is more leveled out.
so true! this really helped me see that this needs to calm down before we go anywher further...i know you want it so badly Neil and time will show this- but the SLOW part is for us too...
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
the thing is, i know it needs to be slow. for my own sake. I just miss seeing her. :-( and i'm so afraid that it won't make a difference that sometimes i get paralyzed...LOL...ugh.
yet i know things are better, simply from our interactions....
you really need to watch what you read on here...sometimes some of the threads really can bring you down and lose focus on what really matters
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
yes- watch the negative posters..i actually re-read a lot in advice from wise db'ers and from piecing and success..i try to stay away from the negativity- some people really get off track..i try to help support people bc it helps me too...and we all have our down times but it can get very victim-ish... i love the quotes.... here is another one:
DO or DO NOT, There is NO TRY- Yoda
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
..thats what happned with my H- work related stuff- brought up a lot of sh*t for him and now that I am DB'ing he saw that his work stuff was about him and his actions and he had to figure that out on his own. so maybe your W will see that her "friend" isnt the person she thought and it will proabably bring up a lot for her...this is where you get to be strong, listen and validate! is: "that must be hard"..."sounds like you have found ways to talk to her about it"..."oh i feel for ya"...wtc...life lessons are SO MUCH FUN (he he he)!