Yes, absolutely. The trick is to not let on that we are planning anything. That isn't to say we play games. It is more like we plan how to control us and what we think, feel and say.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Well, as they are acting purely on emotion/impulse 99% of the time, I guess someone has to be the rational one lol!
Long story short, W got into my emails and found a few emails i had sent to few "chosen" friends. She had the balls to respond in her name to one of them, she even copied me .. after reading that i have decided I am done. I need to get into my own space, this was a big eye opener.. but i am done.. i will continue to pursue my positive changes.. for me of course.. i would post the email, but i don't think it's appropriate, plus it's long winded. Basically i am blamed for the whole breakdown of the marriage, i guess my wife is perfect..
I think we just need to get that house sold, in this horrible market, and i will chalk it up to a lesson learnt. Life is too short, i want to have kids(my wife even blames me for the fact that she likely wont have kids now)..
Thoughts? Am i being dumb? I don't think I am..I am just done..
Of course she blames you, she has to rationalize it somehow. It's how she feels right now, it's not forever and it doesn't accurately reflect the past.
Sleep on it. Don't make any decisions based on one thing.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Of course she blames you, she has to rationalize it somehow. It's how she feels right now, it's not forever and it doesn't accurately reflect the past.
Sleep on it. Don't make any decisions based on one thing.
We dropped the price of the house a little.. not sure if it will make a difference or not..
What is the 48 hour rule?
I'd like you to see the email.... but you know what..it didn't bother me one bit.. weird.
You'll hear people on here say not to make a big decision / say something within 48 hours of an event. To give yourself time to process it, put it in perspective, and work through any emotions.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
You'll hear people on here say not to make a big decision / say something within 48 hours of an event. To give yourself time to process it, put it in perspective, and work through any emotions.
The market is horrible here anyways, dropping the price 15K on a 650K house won't make much of a difference. The old me would have reacted to that email with hostility (what are you doing looking at my emails etc).. the new me decided not to even reply to it.. I still got her the stuff she requested..
I will still take my dogs for a walk tonight, i will still goto the gym tomorrow etc etc..
Of course she blames you, she has to rationalize it somehow. It's how she feels right now, it's not forever and it doesn't accurately reflect the past.
Sleep on it. Don't make any decisions based on one thing.
How can she even be rational at this point? How can i be blamed for the whole thing? confused..
Lol. If she accepted that she had some part in it, then it would poke holes in how she is justifying her behavior. And the whole thing might just unravel at the seams.
It's easier to blame someone else than to examine yourself. Looking at your own actions takes conscious energy, time, thought, and can result in negative emotions. No one really wants to pick themselves apart. Some people avoid it more than others though.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Red, if you've seen my thread, I've been solely blamed for the breakdown of my marriage. Did I contribute to the breakdown? Absolutely. Did I do it alone? No way. My h CAN'T admit that he played any part in it. If he did that, he'd have to admit that some of this was his fault, and he's not willing to "come to Jesus" with that right now. It's easier to place the blame on me, look like a victim, and justify his decision with his friends and family.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. How can she be rational? Because in her mind, she's made you the bad guy and can justify any decsions that she makes.
Breathe. Take time to unwind. An extra yoga class tonight?
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
