I will ask regardless of the risk of stirring things up a bit. Following each of these three deliveries have you experienced any post-partum depression? I realize that this may not at all be the case, but I was just feeling like that was something I wanted to find out from you, if you didn't mind.
Ask away, i'm pretty much an open book. I've never had any depression, post partem or otherwise. every other aspect of my life is actually pretty good. i love my job. The new baby is amazing and the girls are doing great with her. I havent' been getting much sleep cause the baby seems to be a night owl, but that's to be expected. I never got much sleep anyways. My bills are all paid and i still have money in the bank, so even that is good. The only thing that i struggle with is my H and my M.
I don't even really like him anymore, much less anything more than that. I can't wait for him to go out and i'm happier when he's not here. It's just stressful being around him cause i don't want to do anything to start a fight or piss him off. It seems like i'm really good at doing those things.
When he left today, he said maybe that if i have the house all clean when he gets home, that we could actually have a good night. I told him that the house has been clean and that i will work on it today and he said that he doubted it and drove away. Well, ok then. I start thinking, why should i bother. I still do it cause i like to have a clean house, but it just makes him think that his tactics work. if it wasn't for the girls, i'd suffer with the mess so he didn't think talking to me like that was ok... how do i stop that when he just drives away...
Quote:
Do not diminish the importance of the things on your list. To decide that you have already said then enough times to him would be greatly diminishing their importance.
I know they are very important things. And every time he says "what am i supposed to do" or some variation thereof, i tell him exactly what i need from him. it may even help for a moment, but it's just not sinking in. You'd think it would make sense that if you love someone, you wouldn't intentionally insult them and hurt them. He tells me that if i did stuff better or didn't do things the way i do, i wouldn't make him say those things. Apparently, I MAKE HIM say what he says. Go figure.
I've never been a quitter, so i'm still here. I just don't see me fixing this alone. I just can't seem to give up though. I feel like i want to, but i just can't.
ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
ann
