New to this forum and need help..

[tmarie]

ok.. as I wrote above, the cat is out of bag.. D14 knows about OW... Here's a question for you guys.. H has asked me what he should do...

a. do not ever talk about it again.
b. talk about it w/D14
c. write her a letter...

I told him I was probabaly not the person to ask, and I really didn't have an answer for him. However D14 told me that she never wants to talk to him about it with him and I made that clear to him. But... should she bring it up to him to be prepared, let her be sad or angry or whatever she feels with out trying to fix it... or explaining it.. details of course are not needed.. she saw the texts.. she has enough detail..

H and I work together occasionally.. this is one of those occasions.... I snooped.... I know I shouldn't have but I did... I got the OW Skype name... I soooo want to write to her... tell her to leave my man alone... that she has nothing on me... he has loved me for 15 years and will always love me... that she is ruining his life and to leave him alone.... I want to say all these things to her but I know I won't... I want to say all kinds of mean things to her, but I know this is not her fault..I also want to plead with her... tell her what they are doing is wrong, that it hurting so many people, me, H, D14, S18 (when he finds out)H parents, my family.. everyone...That the R between H & D14 is going to change... that D14 will never accept her... I want D14 to hate her but I can't express that to D14..nor would I.. That is why I am venting here....

I know we have had a great weekend and experience with Michele... I know I should be thankful and hopeful, and I am, but these feelings are still overwhelming... I desperatly need a distraction... H asked me if I wanted to go work out with him... do I go? Do I not go? Do I make myself unavailable? With all I have learned it seems I should decline the invitation and do something else away from him... but its so hard to be away knowing that if I leave him alone, it only allows im access to confide in OW...

advice anyone??? Thoughts...

t