thank you my friends)))))))))) i'm nice and bloated now, lol, my sis and brother and their Ss and babies took me out for lunch, aahhhhhhh! I'm so full! my sweet brother gave me a laptop! he can put one together (sells them on ebay) and I know he's tight on money what with the new baby and his W out of work, and he gives me a puter!! yeeehaa! wireless internet, here I come! he he. I love them so, I totally forgot how awful I was feeling last night.
Ok, I just have to mention it, I found out that the trip stbx took when I discovered the A last year wasnt' with his coworkers, it was with ow, the trip we paid for, I even pressed the suit he was going to wear there, he had booked the trip a day after the ow contacted him that year, when the PA began again. The entire time we'd go to MC he'd said it was for time alone to think, BLEAh! freaking liar. Turns out it was to go with ow to a wedding. At least he didnt' go all care free, he knew the gig was up. I guess my C was right on the spot, when after a few MC sessions of him stalling and not wanting to work on the M the MC said "so why are you with her? is the rent cheap?"
Yup, the rent was cheap, the spineless liar had been with ow all along, only on break.
ANYways.... I was angry enough to call him, call her, anything. But in the morning I prayed, and prayed hard, for God to give me forgiveness to pass on to him, for me to heal from this new revelation. And honestly, I did this to myself, I ...um... last night I snooped into the room where he brought back his things to then take them to the place he bought. And so, I'm cured 100% from snooping. Honestly, it never did dawned on me that the satisfaction of having found "something" about him and ow that I didn't know before would turn into infuriating hurt a few secs. after.
He's talking to me fine and telling me all the stuff he's doing for the kids' room, not boasting, but that's the way he is, he goes head over heals over a project and goes on an on.. and I can't be too happy about it, sure, it's for the kids, but it's for the room they'll be in while they are away from me. It's hard for me to figure out how to act, I do care but again it tugs at me the wrong way too, kwim?
Overall, I'm having a good bday after the original fiasco of last night, I made my d5 sing me happy bday and I loved seeing my family over lunch, and love seeing your lovely msgs))))))))))) big smooches to all, my online family
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
