Last night exW and I went over her language of love. I previously read "The Five Love Languages" - by Gary Chapman. Toward the end of the book there is 30 questions for wife to answer so that husband can understand her love language / tank.
I had asked exW last week if she was willing to answer some 30 questions.....She said that it was okay. I mentioned to her that these 30 question relate to our relationship which she maybe unconfortable answering - she said she was okay with it. We scheduled to talk / answer questions last night at 8:30 PM.
I called last night at 8:30 PM - she didn't answer. I figured as much, so I didn't put to much into it. Later at 9:10 PM, she calls me back asking if we are still going to talk. I said it you still want to - she said "Yeah, it okay". I was having a late snack when she called, so I asked if I could call her back - she said okay.
Called her back, and we went over the 30 questions. Boy, I was way off about her love language. I thought she was x, when she was y. For example - I would buy her gifts, thinking that she enjoyed receiving gifts, but she didn't want gifts what she wanted was to talk and for me to be there for her......WOW!.
She said that she didn't mind the gift(s); She wanted me to pick out a gift that took thought into it, not a random gift which I would normally give her......WOW!.
After knowing her love language and going over the 30 questions - the issues we had...started making more sense to me.
I am not going to blame me for not knowing her love language, and blame her for assuming I was a mind reader...But she could have said something during our 13yrs together.
