I took your advice. I picked up my copy of "5 languages of love", asked my exW to answer 30 questions to find out about her love tank, before I continued I asked her "Please let me know if this is causing you any discomfort discussing these topics" - she said "No, it is okay", and we continued....and guess what.....I found out her love language....and it was not what I thought it was.
After the 30 questions, I asked her if it would be okay to review them....she said "that is okay". Boy, I was going about it the wrong way all these years....I thought I was filling her love tank, when I wasn't. For example - I thought she wanted gifts when what she really wanted was to talk, and just be there for her. Not to say, that she didn't mind the gifts, she wanted a gift from me that took some thought into it, a gift that I really took time picking out - not some random gift.
Thank you Smartcookie, finding out her love language really opened up my mind about many issues we had - All I needed to do was fill those tanks.
I asked her if she was willing to find out my language of love - she said "okay". We are scheduled for next week tuesday at 8:30 PM.
