Dan, one of my H's complaints a year ago when he dropped the bomb was that we don't communicate. Now he says we still aren't talking because I leave as soon as he gets to the house. The reality is anytime I try to talk he gets angry and clams up. H says it is because I always attack him. GRR. I think he is just way on the defensive. To me it is just part of his controlling the sitch by not giving me info. It also part of his keeping secrets.
Hi red. Even though I know what's inside me, I've been pretty bad about hearing what she is trying to communicate. I was too defensive to hear anything for the better part of 16-17 years. The dope I take for ADD changed that. The skill of listening is still underdeveloped.
I'm not sure how much communication we get even now, even with the MC, even through e-mail. Usually, it takes quite some time for the idea to migrate through the thickness of my head until I can finally understand and since I've always had verbal diarrhea, I think that she discounts 3/4 of what I say as not really understanding and waits for the behavioral change.
I empathize with you about controlling the sitch and keeping secrets. I've been on both sides of that one.
