You are right about the pendulum. I am slowly approaching a sense of equilibrium - the goal is to maintain it - not toss it aside when a work opportunity walks in the door.
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Making money is what I do best - it is still a constant battle.
I hear you on that one. I am much better at meeting and typically exceeding my financial goals - now personal ones - those are a challenge for me.
I haven't decided exactly how to deal with M GF. I am still in swinging back and forth stage. We do not have a long history. I guess I don't have to decide today. I will let my thoughts percolate and settle in my brain. The right decision will come to me evetually.
My friend Emailing Man has a female friend that is single and has affair after affair with M men. He is far more compassionate. He sees that she is screwed up - but so are the men she sleeps with. It is just a mess that he recognizes is out of his control to fix.
Discontinuing the friendship with M GF will not influence her choices. She will do what she will do - I have no control over her actions. Not sure what berating her or breaking off the friendship will accomplish - other than perhaps make me feel morally superior...not exactly a laudable or worthy goal...
I need to find lower maintance drinking buddies!
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We all think we're special. I remember telling her that what people will do with you, they will do to you. They always show us what they are capable of. And not just in intimate R's. Actions are consistent. People are consistent. They reflect their core beliefs in everything they do.
I agree with everything you have said. I think that is why it takes time to get to know someone. And I believe that how one operates in one part of their lives is reflective of how they operate in other parts of their lives. People are boringly consistent.
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So, I do think it's a great idea to let her know how you feel. As I explained to my friend, my pea-sized brain could not comprehend her R. I share your point of view that you are M until your D is final. I dated one S man and will not do that again. There's a lack of balance in life during S, not a good environment for me to start a new R.
I need to tell her how I feel b/c I need to be true to me. A self-centered reason perhaps - b/c I really would be doing it for me.
I think a man that takes the time to wait till his D is final and takes the time to heal before moving into the next R has the strength of character that I am looking for. As you mentioned people are consistent - this is an indicator to me that this person is not reactive to pain and is not into instant gratification and quick fixes. I am not interested in an R with a person that is looking for the easy button in life. I want someone that is focused, consistent and steady in working towards goals in life. I want someone that has the capacity to be spiritually whole on their own. I want someone with a high enough tolerance for pain to be able to make it through the more challenging parts of an R b/c a lifetime is a long time - it will not always be fun.
I feel like I sound like a princess! LOL! I am not looking for a prince that will slay dragons to rescue me (I am quite capable of slaying my own dragons) - I am looking for a prince that has demonstrated the courage and capacity to face and slay his own dragons before I allow him into my life.
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Take a deep breath and let go. This work stuff will sort out. You will land on your feet. You always do.
Thanks AO. I will and you are right - at least with respect to work anyway.
