For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

[hopeful4her]

Never got a response email to my response to her email

On my way home, I called to let my girls know I was on my way home. D11 said the wife had called and told them she'll home soon. I never got a call from her. I get home and she is still not home. Girls say she called again and said she was about 10 minutes away.

I love that feeling you get when you come home and the kids are soooo happy to see you. Best feeling in the world. "DADDY!!!!".
Gotta love it.

End up laying with D6 in her bed playing tickle and just playing around. Wife comes home and comes into the room, also. D6 and I are still laughing and playing and wife comes and sort of lays on both of us. All of us laughing and than D11 comes and joins us, too. We are having a good time together. Family. Again, another great feeling.

We are up and discussing dinner. It stormed today around lunch time. Roomie asks:
"Did your truck get flooded?"
My Ramcharger has an airvent over the cargo area and my window slides down leaving a 4'' gap.
"I got a little rain inside before I went to close it."
"I thought about you when it started to rain."
"What, were you laughing at me. You could have called me to remind me about my windows."
"I know you would have remembered."
"Yeah, I did after about 20 minutes of rain."
She smiles.
She starts cooking. D11 is complaining about a song D6 keeps on singing. "She won't stop", D11 says. Roomie say, "She is just happy." Then she starts to sing the words, "She is just happy, she is just happy, she is just happy."

Ok? Roomie is happy, too.

I am putting away dishes. She makes the girls a plate. I bend down to pick up something in the kitchen. I see roomie walk right up to me. I straighten up and she says, "Hi, friend!" with her arms wide open. I give a look like she is nuts. I go for the hug. Big hug. Tight hug. My face is in her neck. Hers in mine. Ongoing. We hear D6 looking for a fork. Roomie has one in her hand. Without breaking the hug, she says "Here Juli" and reaches her arm out. D6 takes the fork and she goes right back to the full hug. We never moved our faces.

I say softly,
"You must have had a good day".
"It was ok."

As we are swaying a bit, I forget to break first. She does. She says, "I didn't take my meds this morning. I decided to take them at night. I don't like the way them make me so tired during the day. I felt like a zombie yesterday."

I agreed. I finish dishes. She makes a plate for me and we go into our bedroom to watch the movies we have. First, "Under the Same Moon". Good movie but in Spanish. Then "The Orphanage". Again, in Spanish. What the? I had no idea. Good thing we know Spanish. Scary movie. At least for roomie. At the end we are shoulder to shoulder. Movie ends. Bed time.

I wake up and laying facing roomie on my right side. She then shifts to her left side. We are chest to chest and her leg is laying over my leg. We have not been like that for a year. Her left arm is outstretched towards me and now I'm using her arm as a pillow. This used to be our norm in a way. Now I really cant' sleep. At one point, her right arm falls between us and her hand is laying on me. I mean laying ON me. GOOD LORD! Give me strenght.

Just as I am about to put my left arm around her waist to pull her tighter, her damn phone rings. I let it go. It rings again. I break our hold, and answer. It is nephew calling at 1:30am. He forgot his key and is coming home. Can I leave the door open. I am pissed off and agree. Roomie has changed positions.

It felt great while it lasted.

Last night before bed, telling girls goodnight, I find out she is off today. I tell her "I'm glad I found out. I would have woken you up." She says that ok, I would just go back to sleep.
No telling what her plans are. Not gonna ask. She will hang with the girls today at least.

I know she bought some things for the apartment while hanging with her mother on Sunday.

Am I where wdid mentioned? Where she believes that I'm ok with her leaving? Making her feel better?

I'm still not initiating the conversations. I'm letting her. I have pulled way back. I see and feel her wanting to pull and pull me in. At least it feels like that.

I'm not ok with her leaving, but if she intends to keep the relationship with OM, then good riddance. She HAS to go. If she intends to end it with him, then a separation might be good for us.

I intend to talk about our goals for a separation. If she tries to tell me that she wants to see if she'll miss me or whatever, I am going to tell her, "If you don't end things with OM, then you are just lying to yourself, to me, and the kids as usual. There is no WAY you'll miss me. If your saying that just to SAY it, then just file for the divorce. No need to wait."

Also try to find an opportunity to throw in the "part time parent" truth dart somewhere.

I guess she goes either way.