On the verge of piecing......a new beginning

[TwinDad]

Thanks everyone.

I highly recommend the book "healing the hurt in your M" it is awesome. I liked the part about the mirror effect, what you reflect in your eyes to your S is what she becomes: if you cherish her and accept her and aprove of her she will grow, but if you see her failures and where she lacks this and that she will feel the dissapointment in your eyes.

Cat, Thanks for the book idea, I will have to look it up. I think one area where the Sep has been good for us is having developed a greater appreciation for each other and their strengths and an acceptance of thier weaknesses.


Yesterday I had a very interesting observation and it was kind of brought out by my Mom when she asked if my S was having anymore tantrums.

It really made me look at my kids over the last 6 months. I really started to notice changes in them. My S really favored me and my D really favored my W and they each actually acted a little aggressive towards their opposite parent (i.e. D not wanting to give me a kiss goodnight). They even seemed to fight quite a bit. Additionally my S would have more meltdowns. Granted they are almost three and this is somewhat normal behavior.

Since things have been improving, I have noticed they want to spend more time with both parents, and we can not stop the giggling in the early evening (they are litterly goof-balls from about 5 to 8:30)....it is one of the most wonderful sounds I have ever heard. It is hard to believe what a significant impact even a short sep can have on your children. Unfortunately it only seemed apparent once things started to improve

I am not certain if my W has noticed the change, but I sure have. They really seem to feed off of the tension or lack there of in the M (even though we woudln't argue or fight).