Scott, I am going to try once again....
Read this quote of what you told us not so long ago about your issues and behavior in this relationship....

Notice that you used the word
Quote:
rage
and
Quote:
Totally out of control


Quote:

One of the main problems especially with the health issue was that I was
diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago. I was on and off meds,
nutrients etc for a few years, but none of it worked to resolve the problem.
No matter what I was on or doing I'd still have major setbacks and episodes.
Manic episodes and dealing with a lot of snap anger and rage with tons of
yelling over even the littlest things. Being mad at the world for no reason
etc. Totally out of my control. This caused a huge drain on our relationship and
these cycles would come and go. I've left probably 4 times over the last 5
years


I am going to tell you again that your relationship has little or no chance UNLESS and UNTIL you get healed and can demonstrate it every day. Day after day after day.. You are out of get out of jail free cards in her eyes.

The facts are that it is understandable that she wants out. She is tired and worn out from the highs and lows wondering or worrying when your next "episode" will blindside her.

You need to know and understand this. You are sweeping this under the rug as if those
Quote:
totally out of control
days should and have left her mind. You SCARED her. You shook her world. Do you really understand what this does to a woman when a man acts this way again and again?


Get healed. Step one... It won't work even if she did come back.
Telling me you have it suddenly under control after years and years of the opposite goes in one ear and out the other. Get healthy Scott. It is imperative you focus on Scott and his issue with your emotions. This situation is going to put you to the test on whether you mean business or not regarding these out of thin air up and down episodes that drains the one on the receving end of the episode. Rage and totally out of control are not normal behaviors that anybody should expect to live with. That includes your wife.