haunted by memory of Ow

[saffie]

Luv,

My H wouldn't say anything nasty about OW in the beginning and seemed to put her feelings first even though he said he was staying with me. It really hurts - I know. But time has changed all that. He now sees OW as the manipulative woman she was- and she was a real doozy. But it took time. I think he just didn't want to be seen as bad!!! How crazy is that after what they have done?

I guess not all OW are bad - some may not know that our H's were married or might not realise we still care about out M's. Others do know and just don't care. The thing is though - it's not about her at all - it's about your H - and it sounds like he is taking time in recovering from his attachment to this woman. That seems to be the most common scenario on these boards; I think my H was unusual in his ability to just walk away from OW and not look back.

Acknowledge your hurt and accept that you are going to need time to heal and that each time you get hit with something like this it WILL seem to send you back again a bit. But then you will move forward again. Recovering from this sort of a situation, IMO, takes years - not weeks or months. Don't expect too much too soon.

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))