Gypsy. Thanks for your kind words to me yesterday. I am trying so hard to make plans and change. It's hard with him back at the house, but yet good to have him there. The biggest thing is that I am just calm and patient and loving. I see this as my time to love and give. This is even when my head is rushing along as if I'm going to scream at any moment. I can now calm myself down, which I couldn't do for a long time.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Hey Ms, your growing list sounds really good. I'm proud of you recognizing & setting boundaries. Nice Job ! I hope today goes well for you. (no cheese graters, or frogs in blenders).
(I think of affairs before states, I was about to go slap G, lol)
Hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
I am off to the state of Pennsylvania. I am NOT off to my Physical Affair. I'll check in later. Take care!
Hey g- I took a double take when I read that.. then I gave you credit for going to the physicians' assistant! not to the OW ;), never thought about Pennsylvania!
Hey gypsy!
The calm that you feel, when you don't let them fluster you, as SC says, keep them out of your bubble.... don't you wish you could bottle it and take it out later? I know I do!
Hope your day is good!
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
Hey Gypsy K, I survived C, how are you doing now ? better I hope.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
From what I can tell, spouse's lawyer is doing a good job of keeping him in check. Perhaps by the time it gets to the four person thing I just won't care anymore.
My appointment went well. I didn't follow up on one of the things I was supposed to, but I'll do it in the morning. She said that in the past week there's been a lot of stuff going on.. the legal things, the kids finally seeing their dad's apartment and meeting the girlfriend and the BBQ with his family. Nothing is straightforward. She was impressed with my constructive destruction techniques, establishing boundaries and something else. She suggested I be well rested for the meeting with my lawyer tomorrow.
Life changes.
*hugs*
I'm procrastinating on finishing this financial affidavit.. ugh
What techniques are you using? Removing the negative? Getting a life (GAL)?
It's a little tough at first as you do what is good for YOU, finding the person who's been lost, and doing what it takes to make the home a sanctuary.. where it's safe and calm to be.
It's not all about you sacrificing for him. It's about healing what is hurt within you by making positive changes; no blaming.. no guilt! When spouse dropped the bomb it was a wake up call for me. All the guilt I'd carried for years vanished.. it wasn't worth the energy when there was so much work I had to do.
Keep moving forward.. love who you are. The rest will follow.
not to the OW ;), never thought about Pennsylvania!