Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

My ring is so familiar. I've been wearing it for 16 years. But it doesn't mean anything to me to wear mine if H has taken his off, so I'd probably feel better taking mine off too.

I didn't expect to be thinking about this so soon. It's only been 2 weeks since he moved out.

I had friends over yesterday--two couples with their kids; my kids were there too. Only person that was missing was H--which feels so weird still. Why do all my friends' H's stick around? I feel icky being the only single mom in my circle of friends; even though I live in a super-liberal neighborhood with all kinds of families--two mommies, single parents, etc--my friends and my kids' friends are all from traditional, intact families. It's just turned out that way and I never really noticed until now, when I no longer fit the mold. My friends are incredible, supportive and don't judge me at ALL, but I suddenly feel like an outcast.

My friends H's were helping me with the grill and doing the usual "male" tasks and I felt like a loser for not having my own H to help. Why wasn't he there? I don't get it, still!

I remain plagued by the feeling that there's something I could have done better or differently in my M which would have kept my H from leaving.