Wow. Buster, you are listening to your fears more than people who have seen results from the counter-intuitive approach.
You want your marriage back. Do you want back what you had that resulted in this mess. Wouldn't you perhaps rather have a marriage that works for both of you?
Have you ever had a bum who came up begging for money? Were you inspired by them or repulsed? You are acting like a bum. You are by your actions telling her that she has more value than you do. You are telling her by your actions that you don't think much of yourself.
If you are willing to give up you to please her, she won't be.
A couple of specific thoughts. First, I propose that she may hate you already because she has cast you in the role of the villain who is responsible for the mess she is in. Second, I think it is unlikely that you will lose anything in a divorce proceeding because you moved back into your house and she got angry.
People aren't telling you to fight her until she hates you to death. They are telling you to ignore her and get a life until she loves you again. Well, ignore might be a little strong, but, all the DR tools boil down to stop doing what doesn't work, stop pursuing, and get a life.
Lastly, your wife can keep telling you it's over all day and all night. The trouble is that she's lying. If she didn't care and was really done with you. You wouldn't be able to get a rise out of her and you'd already have divorce papers in your hand.
