DQ's Sex Blog

[Bagheera]

I've been financially supporting my wife for 17 years, she's been a SAHM for 16, and none of that ever happened. In fact it got worse when she quit work. What the hell happened?

Financially supporting your wife is only one small part of the overall equation as to how you get treated. There are two sides to that coin, I think.

On the one side, there are plenty of wives who may be SAHM's and who's husbands pay the bills, but who get little support beyond that -- with the kids, around the house, or wherever. They don't feel cared for or cherished in any way, and are lacking in a solid emotional connection with their husbands. They end up feeling walked on and taken for granted, and get little in return for their efforts. So no warm greeting there when hubby gets home.

On the other side, are the so-called 'Nice Guys,' who go out of their way to do everything they can for their families, both on the job and off, but who don't take charge, even to stand up for themselves. They end up feeling walked on and taken for granted, and get little in return for their efforts. Again, no warm greeting.

The only way this truly works is when both partners demonstrate (daily) their appreciation for the efforts of the other, and both partners help take care of the kids and the house after normal working hours. Each partner contributes, and each partner recognizes the contribution of the other.

You know DQ, I really don't want a subservient little 50's housewife. I'm satisfied with a warm, affectionate greeting when I get home from the office, with rowdy kids playing in the background. My newly acquired position of leader is frequently challenged (although my wife is becoming more deferential with time), and the interesting bit is that the more challenging she is by day, the more submissive she is likely to be that night. Conquer this spirited lioness and she melts into rather delicious butter later on.

Who wants a Stepford Wife? Not I. We're having too much fun.

-- B.