It's been a while for me posting to you. OBE. Overcome By Events. I feel for you. I know exactly what you're feeling. I got some great advice a long time ago by a poster named COG. He just semed to go away. I never see him anymore. He told me the biggest hurdle was not fearing a divorce. I could never get myself there until recently. I don't really care what she does at this point. I don't want to be married to the woman my wife became. I feel that I compromised too much of myself trying to make this right, and the more I fought it, the more ornery she got. My marriage will most likely end in divorce. I no longer fear it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sad and unhappy about it, but when there is no fear GAL is so much easier. It's bul&sh&t that "she'll never fall in love again". Don't buy that. My wife said the same thing. The fact is, who knows if they will or won't. She needs to get over herself, as does my wife! You told her outright that you were right there. Love is a CHOICE after 20 years! Once again, she needs to grow up.
The aspect of not fearing divorce is amazing to me. There were times when I couldn't sit in my own skin. I was shaking, I could not write my own name...fear-based. I came to see, there are worse things than being alone. Iraq certainly helped with that. When you REALLY GAL and leave the door open, that's when things can change. This is the bedrock DB advice. It's esaier to preach it than live it though. I get that. Good luck. Keep posting
