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Sorry for the hour of misery....

Glad he shed a tear, at least he is semi-human. I wish there was some drug we could give our H's so they would suddenly be able to openly verbalize what exactly is going on in their heads. I talk TOO much, I know, but it is hard for me to accept that they CAN'T talk about anything without dragging it out of them...

Sorry for you and the Ds. What is the plan for the session in 2 weeks? Will it involve the d's or just you and h??


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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(((Red))) I am sorry that T did not go well. Shedding a tear is a good thing though. It does show that he still has some feeling.

How old are the Ds?


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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BBJ, the next session will be just H and me. It amazes me how he kind of just shrugs his shoulders and says he is done. I think the reason he is willing to just give up and I'm not has a lot to do with our parents. H's parents have been married 40some years, but have been miserable together as long as 23 years I have known them. I think they have pretty much been miserable all of H's life. He doesn't want to live that way and doesn't think we can be different. (that is just my thinking) My parents have been married 50 years. They don't have the perfect marriage either, but they really love each other.

Lola, the Ds are 10 and 15.

H tried calling me this evening. I didn't hear the phone and didn't see the missed call until 1 1/2 hours later. Sent H a text asking if he needed something. He said he had been at a store (sporting goods and I'm not the sporting goods type) and wanted to know if I needed anything. WTF?


R 23 years
M 20 years
Bomb June 2007
S Oct 2007
Ds 11 & 16
Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
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LMAO!!! Sorry, but I am wondering if your H and my H are remotely related!!!

It amazes me that when we do actually start to GAL, how they hate that!!!

That was my turning point, the 17 phone calls. I realized that the more I stopped calling HIM the more he called ME.

Sounds like your H is doing the same!!!


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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OMG, D15 last night asked, "Is Dad really doing all he can to try to work on things?" Wow, how do you answer that when you don't think he is? I told D that is something she would have to talk to him about. (I know she won't) I told her that I didn't want to speak for him or put words in his mouth. The night before I thought she was blaming me for everything. Maybe she is starting to piece things together. A friend of mine who's parents divorced when she was a kid told me she didn't get it at the time. Later on though she figured everything out.


R 23 years
M 20 years
Bomb June 2007
S Oct 2007
Ds 11 & 16
Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
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Not much today. D15 did tell me after H left that he told them the Ds and I should move to a different house and he will live here. I guess that is his way of telling them that he won't be living with us again. Nice of him to do it as a team.


R 23 years
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Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
Sorry for the hour of misery....

Glad he shed a tear, at least he is semi-human. I wish there was some drug we could give our H's so they would suddenly be able to openly verbalize what exactly is going on in their heads. I talk TOO much, I know, but it is hard for me to accept that they CAN'T talk about anything without dragging it out of them...


Hi. I understand that is a common complaint. One might think that if the man were able to easily verbalize what is going on inside that it would make all the difference in the world, right?

Sadly, that isn't the case. We've had 2 different MC try and communicate to my wife that my ability to access and communicate what is inside is exceptional. It doesn't matter. She doesn't hear what I say. Perhaps for couples where he can communicate and she can hear, they don't end up here.

In either case, I'm sorry that we are all here, but, also glad for the help.

Dan


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Sep 4/12/08
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Liz,

I am sorry you are at this point. It's an awkward point. You haven't yet turned the corner, still having many issues to be solved.
Try to stay strong and don't help him hurt you and the Ds anymore. Talk to them alone if you feel like it. What he is doing is BS! Take control of the situation.
K


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Thanks K, you are the greatest.

Dan, one of my H's complaints a year ago when he dropped the bomb was that we don't communicate. Now he says we still aren't talking because I leave as soon as he gets to the house. The reality is anytime I try to talk he gets angry and clams up. H says it is because I always attack him. GRR. I think he is just way on the defensive. To me it is just part of his controlling the sitch by not giving me info. It also part of his keeping secrets.

I have plans to take the Ds to a friend's house today for swimming. Right now it is raining a little so that plan might be ruined. Hopefully it will clear up by afternoon.


R 23 years
M 20 years
Bomb June 2007
S Oct 2007
Ds 11 & 16
Ds and I moved out Aug. 2008
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Hope the sun comes out so you can get outside today. How do you feel about moving out? Funny H would say that to the girls before saying it to you....actually at this point, it isn't surprising, is it?

Thinking of you....on the bright side you can always spend a rainy morning at Starbucks!!


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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