I have gained some excellent insight from your post and will reflect on your thoughts. I am hoping to gain the strength to deal with our sex drive differences in a much more positive way - try to support (I know I am capable of this) and more effectively communicate with her (I need to work on this with respect to our sex drive differences). From what you are saying, this type of consistant supportive approach will eventually bring couples to understand each other more deeply and will also lead to a more balanced sexual relationship. It is hard to be patient and supportive but the alternatives are likely doomed to failure. Perhaps the wife (and I) will also be interested in considering the thoughts and ideas in Michele's book.
I am not sure if I believe or disbelieve your comment concerning "most men who post on this board equate sex with love". Its probably a matter of interpretation and this is a complicated issue. But speaking for myself (and I suspect most of the men that post on this board) I believe I am doing so because I love my wife and I am trying to understand what and why this part of our relationship has drastically changed and how to deal with the situation (otherwise I would be divorsed or looking for an affair).
In addition, for many guys, the attraction to sex is not necessarily from the physical act but the idea that you and your wife are attracted to each other, are passionate with each other, want to please each other and accept each other unconditionally. Yes, the sex itself is important, but most men are even more interested in the idea that you are pleasuring your wife and she desires you. I am not sure if many women really understand this concept and believe its only about satisfying the guy's selfish animal instinct.
Once again, thanks MPT for the time you take to respond, and providing me with a very positive message for moving forward in our relationship.
