Neither can I, it turns me into someone I'd rather not know!
Lol...Don't blame you for needing a nap at assignment time, you could easily exhaust yourself with this stuff. Building little by little is prolly better anyway, right?
I'm still where I was last night. I'm guessing that he thought I'd call him to engage further, & I'm finished with that. He doesn't need to know what I'm thinking now & enough was said already.
What's beautiful is you do what you need to do to heal. It's a process with a path no ones where it will take you.
You're making choices. The simple of act of doing that shows strength on your part. Being hurt, bereft if it goes another way can happen.. but shattered, no. You're already picking up your pieces and making wonderful things happen.
Taking accountability is a good thing, too. Do what helps you heal. However, you don't have to fight your husband's battles, nor should you. That's his cupcake.
It's a process... you're following your path and doing great.
Like my brother said. I'll know when I'm 'there' when spouse says he doesn't even know who I am... someone he can no longer manipulate, who doesn't do his biding blindly, who is her own person.
You sound like that to me.
*hugs*
I'm so happy to hear someone else suffers the same caffeine affliction.
Today I received an email from the lawyer that some big thing was due by Thursday and we needed to get on the same page. That spouse was no longer going to have his check go to direct deposit since the 'divorce is going nowhere' and that there's enough money in the account to take care of things.
My first reaction was to swear, then go upstairs and brush my teeth and cry. I felt helpless, upset, along, angry. Off to do something physical.. constructive destruction. One rhodendron bush was so overgrown, probably 8' tall and just as wide. Whack whack whack with a loper? whose handle kept falling off.
I muttered and mumbled as I talked aloud, hacking the bush to some odd shape. His manuever is what most people go through much earlier in the process. His lawyer was keeping him in tow, showing some muscle with the money, but not putting us at risk.
The second bush wasn't much of a challenge, but by the third bush I was wondering why I just didn't get all this over with. What in the heck was I waiting for?
By now I was sweating and getting very proficient at keeping the falling handle on.
Once the bushes were effectively hacked, I called the family friend tax lawyer who I trust. He reassured me, that I could call him anytime.. and then I called my lawyer to set up a time to meet with her.
When I write spouse's first name, I don't even know who it is.
My lil protected bubble is gonna burst soon.. and then the Gypsy comes out of her cocoon.
I used to do the same thing to our shrubs. It's great for getting out toxic anger. Poor bushes.
I'm headed to pick up S9 from school. Then I'll give you a ring.
hugs *ew, you're sweaty* j/k
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
The second bush wasn't much of a challenge, but by the third bush I was wondering why I just didn't get all this over with. What in the heck was I waiting for?
Why the procrastination on this? I know it's hard, but you need to take the necessary steps to protect yourself financially. DO NOT LET HIM MANIPULATE YOU. Chanel all of that angst into getting things squared away for your future.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
You're gooood! Yes.. I have the appointment tomorrow. I almost forgot "Wednesday" again.
I'm taking care of the financial.. meeting up with the lawyer.. dragging my feet all the way.
How are you, pretty lady?
*hugs*
As an aside, I realize after the fact how natural the change is. Today an alarm system guy was out giving me a bid. When he told me the length of contract I said it was too long. Because of the divorce, I don't now how long I'll be here. When he told me the penalty for dropping the service and lack of flexibility, I stated I couldn't use what they offered and thanked him for coming.
Only later did I realize I did that without thinking twice or worrying if I was saying the right or wrong thing! Small steps in the right direction.
Sorry this is going so roughly for you. But ms imp is right - stop dragging your feet where your financial health and security is concerned. Take active steps to protect yourself ASAP. It sound like H is making moves to take as much advantage as he can. Do not let him take advantage of you.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
