Many couples initally have a strong mutual sex drive and satisfying sex life at the time of marriage but somewhere along the way, the other spouse begins loosing their sex drive. Eventually a portion of these low sex drive partners then loose all desire for sex for a variety of hormonal, psychological and/or physical reasons and become no sex drive partners.
Many (not all) of these low/no sex drive spouses would not even consider the possibility of sex with their spouse, except in very rare circumstances (maybe a few times a year if pressured or to provide a "reward" to the other spouse to get something they want). They seem to have a total aversion to sexual contact and shy away from any situation that could lead to the possibility of a sexual encounter with their spouse.
The low/sex drive partner usually knows the other partner has significant sexual needs and frustrations, knows how miserable they become after long periods of sexual neglect (months and years) but will do little or nothing to work together on the situation. Any attempt to bring up the "sex" topic with the low/no sex drive spouse can often be met with total hostility, leading to the punishment by the low/no sex drive partner of his/he spouse. Having said all of that, the low/no sex drive spouse still professes to love their mate. How can that be? Can the low/no sex drive spouse really love their partner if they will not even consider the possibility of working on a mutually agreeable arrangement? How can bitterness on both sides not set in?
The fundamental question for the partner with a reaonably normal sex drive is how can you move forward with your low/no sex drive partner if he/she is not willing to consider the possibility of working out a solution? Is the threat of divorce (or divorse itself) ultimately the only real solution if you are craving a physical relationship in this circumstance?
Any real world comments or suggestions will be very useful.
