We want you to talk to us. Lead the way. Tell us what to do. Most of the time. It should be clear to you when. We do our best to show you.
"How could I tell him, I'm still afraid of him rejecting me. So many times I asked him to hold me & he refused. He said he couldn't hold me when I was attacking him."
I was going to say.. its not what you say.. its how you say it. I see some Advanced DAM in him.
"I didn't know I was attacking, I thought I was communicating."
Did it look like this.. Big Fight.. Him Angry/Tired.. You Crying.. and saying.. I need you to hold me? He thought he was communicating to. Neither of us understand each other. You use to many words.. I use to few. Somewhere.. in the middle.. is OK. I don't want you to change.. and I don't want you to change me.
"He tried to talk logically to me, pointing out that he hasn't left in 18 years why would he now."
What are you going to say.. when you don't know what to say? Logic is the way to understanding. You have the understanding.. because they are your emotions.. He has the Logic.. because he does not understand.
"He doesn't realize these fears I have are irrational, & deep, & seared into my soul. Logic doesn't reach that depth of pain. "
I think you just agreed with me.
"I wanted him to be so happy that I was feeling safe with him. Instead he seemed bummed."
Lets say.. I plopped a Dell 2950 down in front of you and said.. I need you to stand up a Domain controller. It has a 100 users.. here is the list of names. It will have Exchange, Citrix, and a Blackberry server looking at it.... GO! Now.. when you get done with that.. I will be upstairs.
"I don't understand. Why does he pull back just when I need reassurance the most ?"
Confusion. Misunderstanding. NFC Disease. Dive.. Dive.. The ship is going down.
"& I'll hold you."
Duty.. Honor! Not really.. just frustrated.. and confused. DAM!
"I got in bed, but told him I was going to read for a few minutes, & see if I could figure out what was bothering me."
That is awesome! You knew something was wrong. I see you balking a bit.
"The little things were the dishes, not going to the movie with us, the humidifier, the laundry, the comment about S17, the e-mail that I sent him that was so warm & tender, & he joked with me about deleting it because he didn't recognize who sent it......."
So now I gotta go back and read you last thread. I hate the locking thing!! WHY!!!
"The real thing. He's so focused on building this consulting division, I'm wanting more of his attention. I could be in bed right now with him holding me. What am I so afraid of ? "
Him leaving you with all the Emotion.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
