I think the "there's no us" comment hurts. I've heard that one before too. I honestly think you're doing the right thing Corey by making sure you and your kids are going to be set before Troll and troll-let take what they shouldn't get in the first place.
Well I talked to my Dad and I feel a lot better now. It was hard to tell him everything but it was a comfort to have him tell me that this is not my fault.
He thinks that I'm doing the very best thing by going the LS route and gave me a few pointers regarding H legal representation or lack thereof, but for the most part, it was nice to have someone there for me and to tell me it was going to be ok.
I think the "theres no us" thing bothers me SO much because H always used to make SUCH A HUGE deal about us being a team. Its interesting how we are only a team when it is beneficial to him.
Thanks to all of you for getting me through this. You are the best. Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Your H is selfish. He's in it for himself and can't imagine anything larger. As hard as that is to admit, it's the truth and we're all struggling with it.
DB techniques allow us the chance to regain our lives and self-dignity, and if that results in one of those instances when a spouse reconsiders, great! But that isn't common. The sooner we accept that, the better. We can't focus on change for them. We have to focus on ourselves.
((lodo)) ((Dar)) I'm doing as well as can be expected I guess. I'm just keeping busy trying to get all of my ducks in a row. The hard part will be hoping he signs it and then waiting to see what happens next.
As much as I hate to admit it lodo, you are sooo right. H is a totally selfish a$$ right now (more so than ever before)and its often focused on me because if he took a look at himself, he would have to deal with what hes done to our family. So he is also a coward. Its just unbelievable that someone can change so much in such a short time. Sad.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Its hard not to let it impact me negatively or positively. Having contact with him so often makes it hard. He kept the kids last night at his mom's and he and DS went fishing this am, so that was good. I ended up in tears driving home from the baseball game last night because sometimes it just sneaks up on me how jacked up this situation really is.
I know that for right now, there is nothing I can do but get my stuff in place and then just wait it out, but you all know how hard that is. Easier said than done. I'm going to keep as busy as I can and with 2 kids, work, school & life, that shouldn't be too hard.
He is now talking about DS playing Fall ball, which means he would be going to school, playing football & baseball. We did this one other time and we ended up with one night off (friday) every other night was a practice and weekends were games. DD is also going to be playing Fall ball and his reasoning was if she was playing, why shouldn't he, but I'm not sure I can handle it. Maybe I'm grasping at straws here, but it almost feels like he does this stuff so we keep in contact. My son hasn't played summer ball since he was about 6 because its so hot here and the league he is in now is about 25 miles from our house. It feels like he wants there to be a reason or an excuse for us to all be together. Maybe I'm delusional, but after the last fall go around he was ADAMANT that we wouldn't ever do that again and now all of a sudden he wants them both to play. He knew after Spring ball we wouldn't have any reason to be together, so now with DS playing summer ball, we are all together at least 2 nights a week. Again, maybe I'm reading more into it than I should, but it just seems odd. Anyway, DS is having a great time and got voted onto the All-Star team in this league as well, so next Saturday, I will spend my birthday at the ball park - at least I won't be sitting at home with nothing to do. LOL.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I agree about Fall ball...It does seem odd that he's adament about it now when last year there was no way you were doing that again. He either wants to make it an excuse to see you or he wants to make sure he's in contact with the kids. Maybe he's afraid deep down that he'll lose them in all of this?
