While I sometimes wish that I hadn't spend 16 yrs of my life with XH, and then three more years trying to save my M and recovering, I don't really regret what has happened, b/c it has changed who I am, in a good way. I am so much calmer, more relaxed, more open and compassionate. I feel free to love with all my heart.
So yes, I've not only survived the D, I can see a whole new and wonderful life ahead of me, better than I could have imagined when I was still M to my ex.
I read these words and they resonated so deeply within me that I had to drop you a line to let you know.
I never knew pain and anguish like I knew through this whole thing. There were FAR too many days that I KNEW I would never make it through.
But something happened as the weeks and months went by. Something good. I began to get my legs under me again. I began to see possibilities instead of endings. My step became lighter and the horrible events began to lose their power to cripple me.
And now? Well, I have taken that next step Nic. I went out into the water and put my heart out there again. Nearly two years now since my ex changed our family forever, I have a new family.
My boys love her. Her children love me. Most importantly we love each other. We have both been through this hell we call mid life crisis or walkaway spouse and we've both emerged as better and wiser people.
So when I read the joy you are finding in your life again, I rejoice with you because I too have found that joy.
And I wish we could somehow convince everyone who is currently hurting on this site that, regardless of whether your story ends in reconciliation or divorce, there is still a wonderful life out there in front of you. The actions of a single person can never take that away.
Blessings to you Nic,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
