the thing is my biggest fear is that i'll over do it and that it won't make a difference and she'll go further away. We hardly talk now.......well, more in recent weeks, but still.
i'm still waiting on some input from last nite's convo with my W.....was she prying?
the reason i think she's primarily gifts is that at the start of this i asked her "how do you want me to love you?" and she said surprise me, hold my hand in public, little cards, etc... and that she needs to want me to show her these things. that's why i fear doing them.
But then again, why do i need her approval to do something? again, this is one of my issues........just thought of that... interesting.
Neil, did you read where Forest had me do a graph ?
next item; let's say she was prying. How does that change things. Let's say she wasn't, how does that change things ? Chewing gum for the brain. Spend your mental energy on things that matter.
Do you want to be the type of H that does little cards, notes, hand holding. Then do it. Don't do things just so she'll notice, that you aren't wiling to do for the next 40 years with her. Be consistent. Slow and steady. Make a life decision that you're going to make a deposit into her love bucket once a day. okay ?
The reason we get jumpy is we finally give up, then you guys do a 180 & start doing everything we always asked, then in my sitch, when things get better, he gets more comfortable, loses his focus again, & isn't doing some of the things that he did to "win" me back. Logically I know thats because he's busting his butt to find a job, emotionally, I miss those things.
hugs
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
