well- i probably would have been annoyed and let down inside...but he is a cop so his hours are always changing and up in the air anyway. im usually just grateful he is safe...as long as he tells me he is late or wont be able to make it its ok...i really dont think it was ever such a big deal...and so far he has been late everytime we have met during this sep. i havent said a word and he always says sorry.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
he just called to say he'd be coming to the office to sign the house docs- but im not there anymore so i called back with a cheery message stating he could do it with the notary today and leave me all the docs...i said look forward to talking to you or seeing you soon- bye...ugh- he is so last minute and here is where im still learning still- i know this has nothing to do with me at al..but it is a respect thing- he is late and last minute always and i have always accepted it but i get annoyed (inside)..i guess i should just know he is late- that is actually why i left the office today- i had no idea if he would show or not so i took it upon myself to not wait around..so i did do a 180- yay for me:) i am doing some new behaviors too- that is the good part here!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
well we talked and it was good- he asked how i was doing which is a good step- he hasnt really asked without a huge R talk after- so this time was good to just say good, im doing this and that...etc...he said twice he has some stuff for me like dry cleaning, etc and i said if its not urgent ill get it from you whenever...i was waiting for him to ask me to do something but he didnt...i didnt want to push him and ask either....he said lots of pos stuff about work and excercise but he always says something negative about himself with a little comment- its so wierd..i dont know what to say- i said ha ha or thats not true...but it was kind of depressing and negative...overall it was upbeat but i can tel he is beating himself up a lot...anything i could have done?
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
No. Remember, those are HIS feelings, not yours. YOu can only empathize with him. I know i beat myself up alot too because i feel guilty for treating my W the way i did (now granted, i know it wasn't intentional, but i see my behavior pretty clearly right now, and understand my W's feelings from reading some posts of the WAW's on here....and i think to myself, what an a**hole....how could i treat the woman i love more than anything like that?) The one thing i've learned from my C is that i learned these behaviors from watching my parents. now they made it work for them.....it obviously didn't work for my sitch.
you're doing great. let him work his feelings out on his own, and don't rush him. Feelings are a tough thing to grasp and understand. Just go with the flow....
Last edited by Neilh23; 07/10/0811:44 AM.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
