I talked to M GF - and well that judgemental part of me is kicking in... She didn't mention the affair - she only reveals and talks about her "secrets" when she is drunk. Last year it was her fake boobs and this year it was the affair.
I think if you actually decide to get M - you make that decision as an adult and take responsibility for that decision. You can't just change the rules just b/c things are not going your way.
I have an extra hardline stance for myself - I do not date men that are not legally D. It is non-negotiable. In my book - you are M or not M. There is no in-between. I don't care who hurt who first. I decided on that after I did date a DB person that persuaded me about his "not D - yet not M" stance. And I regret that decision to this day.
M GF wanted 4 kids - H did not object. M GF decided that H had to get fixed after 4 kids - he got fixed. M GF wanted very expensive landscaping - H did not object. M GF recently bought huge new Honda minivan - H bought that for her and drives an old car himself. She wanted fake boobs - H paid for them. She has endless procedures done - H pays for them.
She keeps in touch with her XH and her XBF's - always thought that was strange. And she told me once that she talks to a guy she met at a bar last year - more of an EA - not PA - perhsps she lied. Her H knows all this.
H pays for the getaways where M GF has her affairs - that is just plain sick!
M GF spends a lot of money and has never balanced a checkbook in her life. She has also told me point blank that I am lucky that I do not have to be M to live in this neighborhood - how some women M the right men for the lifestyle.
Her H has held up his end of the bargain and then some.
She is having her cake and eating it too...
When I talked to her today - I felt a little ill. I disagree with what she is doing. I think she is immature and living in lalaland where she thinks everyone has it easier than her and that she is ENTITLED to have an affair b/c of the SACRIFICES she has made.
And I wonder - did she threaten to D H if he did not agree to the affair....
And a 22 year old - that is saving himself for her twice a year - get real! Any 22 year old that is willing to sleep with a M woman - will sleep with anything that moves.
This is not love. It is an M of convenience where M GF is the only one really benefiting...
I always post my honest emotions. Not sure what to make of how I am feeling. Sigh...I am judgemental - I really do not want to hang out with her... But the thought of continuing to associate with her makes me feel ill. Everytime I see her H - I feel like I am somehow on the other side against him - and this is not the side I want to be on.
Sigh...me and my delayed reactions... She was calling in friendship capital - and no - I don't think there is enough friendship capital to cover this one...
Bottom-line. She is selfish and self-centered.
I will give it time to percolate in my brain... But I am going to tell her that I think what she is doing is wrong - no and if or buts.
