He sure has been down this path a long time...you are so right. I feel like something's gotta give.
Today would be our anniversary. 19 years. I find myself questioning so much...and also knowing that I don't have the answers. I just hope that God will oneday point my H in the right direction.
I tm'd h today but made no mention of the date. I just needed to make sure he would pick d up from camp early tomorrow for her game. It was brief. He said fine...and that was that.
H came by the house on sunday. He came up late and apologized...he was working out and lost track of time. He is obsessed right now with telling me about his workouts...whatever.
The kids and I were by the pool. He took d13 to pick up a few floats and when he came back he sat in a shady corner. Didn't coment on how the pool looked and could barely look at it. He did mention how much d13 loved the water. She was putting on quite a show.
D13 and I left for her game and he stated he had to go pick up some things at the store and then he met us there. It seems as if he can only spend a certain amount of time with us...before he has to disappear. He left right after the game. Said he was exhausted.
I am so totally focused on my kids right now. It is all about them. Work is stressful for me right now and I am looking at some internal postings to see if I am qualified for a better paying position. I love the people that I work with but I need to do what's best for my family.
As for H, his cycling into the late night calls and tm's has stopped. I find this very odd and I know that I am analizing but I have to wonder if he has given up on us or if he has totally moved on. I really feel as though the R with he and s16 is a major factor in him being so stuck.
Anyway, I am off to pick up the kids soon. Need to take my mind off the date. Hard to believe that this is how my life has turned out. My h looks and acts like he did when we were in high school.......and I wish he could wake up and see all that he is missing.
