You have to do what is right for you, I honestly believe that. My first contact w/ OW was when I first discovered the A nearly 2 yrs ago, as an email to tell her to go away. We exchanged some emails in Aug/07 when I discovered the A was still going on. Then in Oct/07 I called her & we exchanged a couple of long phone calls and decided to meet.
My last call to her was last week after my H told me he was done w/ our M. I needed to know if it was because of me and the pressure I was putting on him to come home, or if OW had anything to do w/ his apparent decision. She called me back and called me again the next day. She is very distressed that H is still seeing me & lying to her, & it is mainly she who talks & asks questions. But we have always spoken quite easily with each other & have learned more truth from each other than from H. This is likely not the case for many sitchs.
For me knowing where I stand is important - it is the unknown that I fear most. I would rather know that OW is around for certain than simply suspect, as it allows me to make informed decisions about what I want to do. For example, if I know H is sleeping w/ OW, I will protect myself & make decisions about ML w/ him.
I know many, many DBers think I'm wrong, and I can deal with that. You must decide what suits your sitch, and it sounds like you have made a good decision for you. I'm glad that my posts have helped you to do that.
You hang in there too. (((hugs)))
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
