I don't know Gypsy, Actually, it wasn't as calm as I would have liked.....I did slam the gate & give him a look that in no way would be taken as peaceful. I also walked after him to his car, where he jumped in & locked the doors????
Today I'm about as calm as I've ever been IML...could be from the run I just finished, or that I've taken back control, or that I expected some "hissing", maybe all of the above. Reading your thread helps too!
Anyway, I feel great right now.
Quote:
(ignore me Sunny, you know what you are doing...)
Uh, not really SpecialK, but could you explain the "stupid card" for me. Do you mean take him up on his stupid offer & start the ball rolling? Just give him the offer back?
Sorry, I'm having trouble connecting the dots
Hi L, I hope you're getting some rest today (after work, anyway)
We say in a cards game analogy, I have a card in my hands (probably your "in my sleeve"), meaning that card is our negotiation tool and power. He is clearly bloffing. And you clearly know what you are doing. But I am getting mad watching him pulling this card out over and over again...(and I haven't even been with you on your sitch for long ...). Sorry, K
I am getting mad watching him pulling this card out over and over again...
Me too! The only thing I can change is my reaction. "The Offer" no longer scares me. I know he's "reacting" to me taking away the privilege of spending time with my guests & extended family when he wants family time. I know that until he has to give something up, nothing is going to change.
I lose more respect for him daily. He's not acting like a man, so I'll do what I can not to encourage that behavior.
I think I do have the card in my hands & I won't make the mistake of handing it over to him.
The power comes from knowing that I'm OK with or without him & knowing that my boundaries are firm & getting firmer all the time.
I'm taking today to relax & put this to the side. Let it rest (something I wouldn't allow pre-DB).
Thanks for your take K, it's always helpful, please keep it up.
