For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

[hopeful4her]

wdid, whatever you do, don't stop posting to me. You have no idea how much you help me. Others do too, but getting your insight is really a blessing to me.

The way I look at things is like this. In my mind, she is leaving. Whether she does or not is irrelevant. In my mind, she is. So I treat her like she is. I have pulled back. But I can act a little differently, also. The feeling like I can try anything with her. That nothing to lose feeling. It's kind of empowering. I feel detached from her, but at the same time, able to kid around with her like I haven't in quite a while.

The comment I made about what she was wearing sounding hot. The playing around with the popsicles. Asking for the massage.

While she is here still, I am still focused on saving my marriage. If and when she leaves, not so much. It will be too hard to, IMO. My pull back is drawing her in, I think. I might be fooling myself, but I think you see it too. Saying I might be fooling myself might not be the right words, because I have no expectations at this point.

At some point, I am going to tell her that there is no reason for her to protect her heart from me. No reason to be guarded. I expect nothing from her, so no reason for that. Let her know that she can just be who she is around me. Let her know that I know how hard things are. Things are hard for me, too. We can lean on each other. Help each other.

Just like when her great grandfather died. I wrote her that she could always lean on me if she needed to. She later told me thank you for letting me lean on you. After the hospital stay. She even said that she knew she hadn't been a very good person to me, and that she didn't deserve me.

Just going to lay it all out on the table. I will still keep my aces, but put the rest out there. Who knows what could happen.

Today, I even thought about going and talking to MIL. Ask her if she thinks we are hopeless. They must have spoken more after I left on Sunday. She would tell me what she thinks. She USED to tell me to never give up on her daughter. Be interesting to know if she has changed her mind after all the talking they did this weekend.

Taking the "me" part out. Not worrying about helping me move on, how do others see my sitch, I wonder.

I post at length to try to get opinions. I see others around here that just seem so hopeless. It's heartbreaking. Maybe I'm too into my sitch to see. Really see.