darboyd5 - Disney Mom guess what - when I came home from work yesterday, W had let them all pickout and she bought them all a new toy - Boy its X-Mas everyday with mom.
My H is like that, too! They have new toys or games every time he takes them. My guess is that they are feeling guilt over what they've done and how it's not good for the kids, and buying a toy for the kids is an effort to reduce the guilt. I can't imagine that would work though, would still think they feel guilty. But maybe it helps them for a little while.
I do the same thing with chores and the kids need to earn stuff and we used to do that until my H has started being the Disney parent the last few months (after he moved out). It's like he's already hurt them, and I think the constant buying them stuff will hurt them more. I just hope that they copy me as a role model of parenting, but I do worry a bit about that. Karen
Isn't it interesting how S can be different. My W has actually, IMO, become less interested in the K's. The exception may be D16, but I think it is because W wishes she was 16 again. W goes out very often with EGF's (never used to) and leaves K's with me. I do not complain one bit as I treasure every (ok, most ) moments with them. But W is more concerned with self than anything these days.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Hey Karen I've been following your post, sorry I haven't stopped bye to say hi - I will - just been very busy - I want to stop by and say hi to Kat also.
Quote:
Karen: is an effort to reduce the guilt. I can't imagine that would work though, would still think they feel guilty
I know they feel guilty, how couldn't they. Its going to get worse for my W, becasue right now she is with them all day Mon - Fri, then it all will stop. She will be getting a fulltime job, the kids will be in school fulltime, she is still going to keep her Saturday night bartending job, so hmmmmm! when will she see the kids, looks like she will be available for them Friday nights and Saturday day only and that's if she doesn't have any plans for those nights
What a mom
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Hey Karen I've been following your post, sorry I haven't stopped bye to say hi - I will - just been very busy - I want to stop by and say hi to Kat also.
Quote:
Karen: is an effort to reduce the guilt. I can't imagine that would work though, would still think they feel guilty
I know they feel guilty, how couldn't they. Its going to get worse for my W, becasue right now she is with them all day Mon - Fri, then it all will stop. She will be getting a fulltime job, the kids will be in school fulltime, she is still going to keep her Saturday night bartending job, so hmmmmm! when will she see the kids, looks like she will be available for them Friday nights and Saturday day only and that's if she doesn't have any plans for those nights
What a mom
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Jeff, if that doesn't hit her like a ton of bricks, nothing is going to. You'll know then that something is REALLY wrong with her. The kids are way better off with you. I am glad that I CAN'T say the same about my wife.
This past Sunday, she said, "I know that at least, I have been a great parent. I can even say that I was a good wife up until about 4 years ago."
I wanted to tell her, "What your doing right now ain't gonna win you no Mother of the Year Awards."
Last edited by hopeful4her; 07/08/0806:42 PM.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
Jeff, if that doesn't hit her like a ton of bricks, nothing is going to. You'll know then that something is REALLY wrong with her. The kids are way better off with you. I am glad that I CAN'T say the same about my wife.
This past Sunday, she said, "I know that at least, I have been a great parent. I can even say that I was a good wife up until about 4 years ago."
I wanted to tell her, "What your doing right now ain't gonna win you no Mother of the Year Awards."
Had softball game tonight, I knew I needed to get home, everyone was saying stay have another beer, I said no I need to get home to my babies.
On the way home, W called "where are you are you comming home soon" I told her I was almost home. As soon as I walked in the door, W said kids are in bed and she walked out and left.
When I turned around, all the kids (I wish I had a camera handy) were all standing on the steps yelling "yeh daddy's home" I ran up the steps and hugged and kissed them all, put them back into their beds and told them goodnight and I love you - Sweet dreams
I'm so lucky to have such great kids. - I just remembered, girl at work, who is also in my church pulled me aside today and said when I said hello to her at church another family pulled her aside and said do you know Jeff he is such a good father.
Made me feel good - made me think of something else, I met a girl several weeks ago and she plays softball same night, tonight I said hi to her and I reached out my hand and she put her hand in mine, we held hands for a second, felt like a hour to me.
Life is going to be great, I can't wait
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
You sound so good Jeff! It makes me happy to "see" you in such a happy spot at the moment. So much of what I have read from you over the months has been a depressed Jeff. But this Jeff seems happy and I like it!
You are a great father. I would have loved to see your kids saying "yeah Daddy's home!" Everyone you meet should be saying that you are a good father because....you are!
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Thanks Sara, I'm trying to be happy, I have so much anger inside of me right now and I still get a little depressed. W is constantly on my mind. I wake up thinking of her, I think about her all day and all night and it makes me angry. I have to get her out of my head
I have to keep reminding myself that its for the best, that life goes on and I'll be fine. I'll find love again, but thats going to have to wait until I get rid of all this anger.
Time heals all wounds and I pray it heals my broker heart.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
W called me today at work and we scheduled next Friday 07/18 to go over everything before she meets with the L to draw up the D paperwork. - I don't expect any suprises and this will allow us time if we have any differences.
I'll be out of town - headed to Richmond VA Sunday through Tuesday for work.
D6 and D6 have softball game tonight
Just Journaling
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
guess what - when I came home from work yesterday, W had let them all pickout and she bought them all a new toy - Boy its X-Mas everyday with mom.
) moments with them. But W is more concerned with self than anything these days.