Thanks FIB - Will keep this in mind. I will not smoke the pot and I will tell her that I am against it. I have to start really putting my foot down on certain things, especially with the neighbors. I don't know why I keep letting things go the way they are.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Thanks FIB - Will keep this in mind. I will not smoke the pot and I will tell her that I am against it. I have to start really putting my foot down on certain things, especially with the neighbors. I don't know why I keep letting things go the way they are.
thanks Puppy - you are 100% right. I've been taking the easy way all along.
I really feel like asking her tonight - if the lack of sex thing is all about the situation at home - then why do you want me to go to Lake George with you given the situation??
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
My h hasn't had PA. There may be an EA, because a friend of his has confided to him about her problems with her h. I believe there is no one else. I just had to be clear to him. We all have a bottom line and I drew it out for him.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Journal - Got home yesterday after leaving work early to pick up S7 and S10 from camp and my W was supposed to be taking S14 to his game - but they were home after having a blowout. My W said they he is treating her like sh!% so she is not taking him. She said she was very upset because she had a GREAT therapy session and was in a great mood and he ruined it. I told her I was very late and had to leave - she said "you're not going to do anything??" - I said "you already punished him - he really wanted to go to his game and you're not taking him - I will talk to him when I get back". She then said - "I'm just going to take him". I asked her why and she said that if she didn't he would just call her parents and she doesn't want them to know anything that goes on. I said that I didn't understand but we need to punish him then later on. She said ok and left. She called twice from his game - once to complain and once to ask if we could hook up for dinner afterwards. We did.
At dinner she looked very conflicted. She didn't talk much and when she did - it was just to me - nothing to the kids. She said she was tired. When she finished her meal she got up and aked if it was ok to go home. I said "of course - you don't need to ask my permission - I'll see you at home". She took S7 and left. She looks like she has the weight of the world on her mind.
After she left S14 and S10 told me they heard she was going to Point Pleasant and can't wait for her to go so they can have some fun around the house again. I said that I understood how they felt right now but then asked if they remember what Mommy used to be like. They both smiled. I said that we all want to get her back - but if we really and truly want that we have to start treating her like the old Mommy - because as much as we think she has changed - we are treating her differently also and that makes it hard for her to be her old self - so let's just show her how much we love her. They both agreed.
Then S14 told me he just wanted to explain what happened earlier. He said that it was time to go to the game and she decided to go out to our garden to pick veggies. He asked her 3x to leave because he didn't want to be late. Finally he said he just lost it and shouldn't have - but he didn't want his coach to punish him for being late. When she finally came in she went to the bathroom and he started to complain and said that she doesn't care about anyone but herself. He apologized to me and said he would apologize to her.
Last night she asked if we could watch some TV together and have dessert. We did. She fell asleep pretty quickly while we watched. I wondered if she had taken one of her tranquilizers. When I went up to bed I gave her a kiss on the forehead. She usually comes up between 1 and 2 am. This morning she came up at 5:30am - said she fell into a deep sleep. I worry about her every day and miss her so much. I almost despise the times now when she acts like her old self because I know it's just a tease.
I think she is also conflicted about the Point Pleasant trip. I know she really doesn't want to go - but now she has kind of put herself into a position that she has to or she will disappoint the neighbors. She usually backs out of these types of things at the last minute. We'll see how it plays out.
I really wonder why she thought she had a GREAT therapy session. Did her C just placate her and tell her what she wants to hear or is she starting to dig into what the real issues are. My gut tells me that she told her what she wanted to hear.
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
Would it be prying if you said, "I think its wonderful that you felt you had a great counseling session. Anything you can share with me?" Then shut your mouth and listen with no comments. You might learn something.
It's funny that my husband always asks how my C went. I have no problem sharing pertinent parts with him. He was the one that dropped the bomb, and what I share is usually the information that reinforces how I get what he feels and has said to me.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
