I'll just file for custody and she can visit sometimes
You may get there anyway.
As for the MIL. If you do file, I suspect she'll get out. I don't know why she's still staying anyway. This is beyond bizarre. Your wife leaves and her mother stays. What a trade off. Where is your wife staying? Can't her mom and her live together?
My one piece of advice is to try to drop the anger. The family is torn apart..that's true, but this isn't a personal attack. She thinks whatever it is she is doing is the right thing. She actually believes that this is the way to happiness. She'll eventually find that it isn't. Maybe it won't be too late when she figures out that she left a great thing behind.
AD, do you feel as if you have nothing left to lose? If so, then call her up and tell her you'd like to discuss some things. Then calmly and rationally lay it all on the table. Don't accuse. Don't lash out. Just tell her you feel like you are in limbo, want to have some direction, want her mom to move out, and these other concerns of yours. Give her the chance to talk and you to listen. Maybe you'll make some inroads.
Lastly, have you seen a lawyer? I wonder sometimes if it isn't better to strike first if you want to be more sure of custody. If she straightens her life out and starts seeing Abby a ton, you might not have the ammunition to get custody. Right now you have the opportunity because she's so wrapped up in OM. I know D isn't what you want, and I'm not even saying you should, but knowing your options isn't a bad thing. Arm yourself with knowledge.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
