You are aware that when your H finds out what you have been doing--talking to OW and possibly snooping--that will not bode well for you.
You are trying to control the situation on many fronts. You are treating him like a child as well. He will run faster than you can count on one hand. Unless your H likes to be mothered and smothered, this will not work.
Think about this--do you really want your H back? If so, do not do these things.
I do not know your beliefs but I am of the belief that this is something you cannot fix.
One needs to allow their Maker to do the work while we be still.
I simply do not see things this way at all.
Marital vows have been breached. The most sacred promises and commitment has been violated. There has been an ongoing relationship with another person that has subverted the longstanding marriage and family that already existed.
And you mean to tell me that it's not ok to say that this all must end?
I refuse to believe that this is an across the board, iron clad truth.
Some things work in one situation and not in another. As FA has pointed out, what they were doing before was not working. I think it is a sign of self-respect that she refuses to involve herself as a wife with a man who refuses to end contact with his adulterous partner.
As for the phone calls, I see no empowering of the OW. Apparently the three of them have known each other in the past. I think it would knock her husband on his keister to know that these two women were now in close contact with each other. Look at his cycle: get his fix from OW, run back to wife, feel pressure so go get another fix, run back to wife. He has played these two off against each other. Perhaps this will lead to ending this charade.
And honestly, if it pisses him off that they are talking, who really cares? This man has been committing adultery and fornication, and we are to care that he is mad at getting caught?
Big surprise there.
Just MY humble opinion.
bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
