Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

Just got back from another mediation session. Got there and saw that H wasn't wearing his wedding ring, which hurt--just another sign that for him, it's really and truly over. (Apparently our Ds noticed and want him to put it back on, but he says he put it in a pocket and now can't find it.)

He seemed relaxed and didn't look depressed, which just made me feel worse because clearly he isn't missing me at all or missing our life. I've been hoping that even if he doesn't change his mind about our M, he'd have some kind of huge moment of reckoning with himself. Nope.

I cried at one point during the mediation session, and H said nothing. The mediator was kind, asked if I was OK, etc.

I wish I could get over H and more importantly, stop hoping/waiting for him to wake up and see what he's throwing away.

I think I should take off my ring too. I am not standing for my M if H has no thoughts at all of reconciliation.