LS, A...snooping is a big no-no, because what do you really gain from it, but hurting yourself, and now, you will lose her trust even more..if/when she finds out. She might just be hanging out with lesbians because they are her friends and right now she just simply hates men...and lesbians...they hate men!!! my best friend, is gay..so believe me, i spend my fair share of time at gay bars, and with a gay crowd...don't count your chickens before they hatch...and don't rely on intel gathered from snooping, it's your take on evidence gathered and perceived from your insight.
when things started to go south between me and my h, i felt like a prisoner, i started to retreat, we slept in separate beds, we lived separate lives. a R/M breaks down because, two people start drifting apart, spending time apart, as FG told me, distance = drama...while i still lived at home, i wanted things to work...but i wanted him to fix it...I had not yet realized what i had done to jeopardize the R/M, i had not grown enough to see my part in the break down, i highly doubt your W has either. As hard as it is, you are doing what you should be doing at this point in the game. i know each day feels like an eternity...but continue to work on yourself, GAL, and being a great father...let her see the changes in you.
When i saw my H, GAL...and he stopped calling, texting, etc. and i had time to just figure this all out on my own...that is when i truly started to realize what the hell i had done.
patience, space, time, those are the hardest parts of DB....but the most valuable pieces
look at my story...my D was put on hold 14 months ago, the patience my H has had...wow...and the times i have wanted to say I fold...but for the grace of God, I find strength, courage and hope....you can do this.
take care, christa
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Christa, thanks for the post. I had known that she has been hanging with lesbians and at the gay bar. Actually, one of her friends works at my office and I had somewhat of a role of introducing them prior to the start pa all this. I know snooping is a no no but my curiousity got the best of me. What I found where several books that about the lifestyle, sex, dating, and awakening.
I know I don't want to confront her because I don't want to erode her trust and I don't know if she is learning, experimenting, or in a R with OW. But with what I know now, it does bring a little clarity to her statements when we talk about the R...I can't love you the way you need to be loved etc... I guess my fear at this point is that the issues in the m that caused the bomb may have released other issues post bomb, from her childhood etc.
I still plan to continue doing what I am doing but is there ever a point while in LRT/DBing to ask if there is an OP?
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
Wow. let's start here.. what are your goals? maybe You need to make them more achievable.....
give me a little while here to read up on your sitch.... and i don't think the fact that she MIGHT be a lesbian should change your perspective....... you probably would've noticed something before now in your R to give you that indication. Anyways, list your goals, and i'll do what i can....
Last edited by Neilh23; 07/08/0805:41 PM.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
