Sorry I have been away for for a few days, but it was becuase I have been so busy. Kicking off my Summer Vacation - YEAH!!!
Things have been going pretty darn well lately. I think one major difference I have been seeing is that my H is paying way more attention to me instead of the bars lately.
This could be due to his best buddy getting a job that travels and so he has been gone and left the band for a while. My H has been way more loving and attentive to me. He has even started to come over way more often.
He has stayed the night with me for the last two weeks on and off here and there. But mostly here. He has been much more loving and we have actually had a few great laughs and wonderful times together doing new and different things.
We spent our Fouth of july at a beach alone together instead of trying to hang with any of our different groups of friends and then he actually went to my Brothers party & watched the fire works and we had a good time. I never pushed him to go, he said he wanted to. I was amazed. I have also taught him how to play tennis & that is new for us to go do together.
The more I go out & continue to do my GAL activities, the more I see him calling me and wanting to come over when I am home. We still have many issues that are mostly due to him not wanting anything to do with our past friends and my Family. But slowly, I see him doing a few things here and there with those groups. So eventually I hope that it wont be so awkward on him.
Today, I am taking my art buddy up to my parents camp and we are going to paint the camp sign "CAMP GOOD-NUFF". Tommorow I start teaching in a summer camp at the H.S. I teach at. And the next day I am going to a pool with my girl friends, and the weekend I am going camping at my favorite place in the world.
My H will not go camping with me this weekend since I will be meeting up with my very best guy friend I have know since I was born and we have gone camping at this place together with our families every year of my life. Last year was the first year I missed out on the trip due to the panic and histeria I was facing when my H first left me.
I regretted not going, so this year I told my H I wont miss it. I invited my H, but he hates this friend of mine now since the whole mess started last year- cuz this friend of mine really stuck up for me and threatened my H due to some of the crazy things he was saying and doing. Now these friends are only my Friends. So I will go alone & I am sure I will be very worried and insecure about what my H will be doing while I am gone - but I cant put my life on hold due to not trusting him completely yet.
Oh, and The last 12 years my h and I went camping at this place, we have carved our names and dates into one of the wash room exterior walls made of wood. Last year, we didnt go and nothing was carved. This year I dont think I should carve anything either since my H wont be with me even though we are still together as a couple. My guy-friend and his wife were joking with me that I should carve the initials "MLC" into the next spot where the year should be put (HA HA). Very funny - but I wont becuase it would ruin one of the most romantic parts of my life.
I hope that one day we will be able to carry on our tradition as a couple and continue to put every year into that wall as I origonally thought it would be that way. This means a lot to me since my parents met at this camp grounds and carved their names into the same wall many many years ago.
