hi 911 do you have goals that you have set for you?
Have you read the DB & DR books?
You need to change you and make those changes visible to your wife, which is hard I know when she is living somewhere else.
She is telling you she will go to counseling and will go to MC with you once she has worked on her stuff.
That is great!
Go work on your stuff, keep a positive mental attitude, learn about validating & empathetic listening, so you can see your wifes POV in all this and show her you 'get it'. When she wants to talk about it. Don't push her, don't beg, plead, etc.
Because for me, until my H 'got it' and understood it and how it impacted me and the feelings it created for me, I was not willing to give him a 2nd chance or listen to the begging.
You can't 'get her to believe or see' anything. She has to look for herself. So do your work, shine the light so she sees that you believe in her and in you and how the M could be different with you being 'wiser' now. But you can not tell her, you have to show her.
Keep posting.. there are many people here who have been where you are at now. I see you had a response on your newcomer posting.
Keep those connections going.
What are you goals for today?
Peace.
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
