Hope4us struggle, part 6

[Hope4us]

Well, let's see.....

Yes Root, the decision to move is completely up to her, and this is what I'm struggling with right now. Last night was another great night. Every day seems to get better and better. And I feel like if I just give her more time, we'll get there and then she'll recognize that moving is in ALL our best interests. I've got a lot of thinking to do, but the way I'm feeling right now I'm probably going to give her another couple months without pushing it. I talked to S16 about the move and told him that even if I told my boss I wanted a transfer today, it may take up to 6 months for it to happen and he was ok with that, so if I don't push for a few more months and we keep making the progress we've been making I'm confident she'll come around. And then making the move is a lot easier. S16 also told me that if my wife and I were getting along better and making progress, staying here for a bit isn't too bad, but he really does want to move.

Yes, the picnic was my family. Wife has always got along with my family. In fact, she's almost got along better with them because her family is so F'd up. I'm sure she feels uncomfortable with the thought of going there even though the only member of my family who knows about the affair is one of my brothers and his wife. No one else knows, and that brother and SIL weren't even there Sunday.

I try not to dwell on OM, but because so far, WW has refused to discuss the affair and OM I have all these pent up things that are ready to explode and venting here is a way to not get in the car and go do what I'd like to do to him. Same goes for S16 Puppy. I agree that it's not good to get him overly involved, but he refuses to talk to a counselor. He's told me I'm the only one he feels comfortable talking to about the situation, so when he wants to talk, I listen. I also tell him every chance I can that she is still his mom and even though she's done this, it doesn't make her a bad person, just that she did a bad thing. And I tell him regularily that it's the lying that I'm most disappointed in, but to a 16 yr old, picturing his mother with another man is just hard for him to take.

LIS, it's funny you say that. I've noticed my WW lately making not so nice comments about people in affairs and lying. It's amazing how she can think that about other people but not equate those things to what she's done, but I think it's a good sign that she's starting to have a problem with other people doing it. I think it shows she maybe figuring this stuff out, but I'm not holding my breath.

That's about it. Yesterday S16 and WW had another conversation about moving and WW told S16 that wasn't a decision he would make for the family, but she would talk to me about it. I'm going to let her initiate that conversation. I think I've settled back on my plan of giving it until after our couples trip to Disney in Oct before pushing the envelope. Things just seem to be progressing so rapidly the last couple weeks that if it keeps up at this pace, we should be where I'd like to be in piecing by then and the potential move will be in everyone's best interest. If we're still "roommates" at that point, I'll know she needs the reality check of us moving without her and then I'll go there.

Thanks for the advise every one. I'm interviewing candidates for a couple of open positions I have the next couple days so I won't be able to comment on everyone's sitch's, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about ya!