Yes. You show her by ACTIONS, not WORDS. Other than little "truth darts" a couple of times a week, you won't be able to reach her with words. "You can't teach an adulterer" is something I learned early on (that and "all cheaters lie" were SO true!). So you show her by your actions that you are the man of integrity and character and strength that she would want to be with.
When she asks you why you're doing it, you say "Because I'm trying to save my marriage, and I took my vows seriously" or something similar.
Puppy
I am defitiely trying that, but am struggling with how to show that I can be what she is wanting (because as have heard before, she does not believe I can change). She wants emotional connection, conversation about non-fluff stuff, etc. Tough to do with actions and not words. So what have I done specifically on the points you mentioned?
Integrity - no lying, honesty, limited "beating around the bush"
Character - partly with the above, friendly with others, standing up for what I believe in, being a pleasant person even in the face of all thos cr@p, GAL
Strength - sticking to my position and not backing down (ok, I waiver with this one a bit ), dealing with whatever comes my way.
I find it tough - I am ready to tackle the world when I get home from work, am pleasant to WW but internally sometimes get defeated when I get in and have no response from WW. It is times like these that I wish she would just leave and let the rest of us live in peace. That feeling doesn't last long.
So open to any and all suggestions!
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
), dealing with whatever comes my way.
