And there's the problem for me. Unfortunately anything I say now falls on deaf ears. So all I can do is be there I think. Any other thoughts?
Yes. You show her by ACTIONS, not WORDS. Other than little "truth darts" a couple of times a week, you won't be able to reach her with words. "You can't teach an adulterer" is something I learned early on (that and "all cheaters lie" were SO true!). So you show her by your actions that you are the man of integrity and character and strength that she would want to be with.
When she asks you why you're doing it, you say "Because I'm trying to save my marriage, and I took my vows seriously" or something similar.
