Just getting caught up on the sitch. I am so sorry you are hurting. It's tough for women because we view ML as such an emotional thing, and men are different. I don't think it was that he didn't want you. I believe his reaction was his own guilt feeling over the sitch.
You did not fail. If a man does not want a woman, he doesn't want her. Obviously, your H still does, and because he has convinced himself that he doesn't, this probably came as a bit of a shock to him. Personally, I see this as encouraging.
Just take a deep breath and continue the DBing. You are doing great, don't let this set you back. Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..