Hey double L... here's the infamous list:

JUST UNDER THE SURFACE..........................WHO I WAS

I am a leader..............................................Lost
I am accepting............................................Needy ----He sees it
He finds me attractive..................................Guilty
I want focus................................................Confused
He knows who I am.....................................Worthless
I want honesty from both of us.....................Emotional
Heart of gold...............................................Begging and Pleading
Sensitive and caring.....................................Doubt
Control of my .life.......................................Controlling
Communicate freely....................................No Communication

I made a smaller version which I carry in my teenie wallet in my tiny purse. When I start getting whacky, I look at the list and remind myself which mindset I want.