This is the song that has been running through my head all day. I know it is totally cheesy 1980's music but I like her version better than the original in this case (although the orginal is good, it just doesn't have that bite to it)
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
A tip about his stuff. My friend is dealing with this too. She already moved her stbx's stuff from Columbia to St. Louis and is now storing his stuff in *her* new garage. She is having a storage pod delivered, loading it, and sending it to a storage place. She is putting it in his name, paying the first months storage fees, and handing him the paperwork. Easy 'nuff.
hugs Sara)))) let him go nuts on his own, try to avoid asking questions nor wondering what he'll do, the time will come and I bet he'll move his time at the 11th hr in a hurry.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Another tip...it costs FAR less to have all your locks re-keyed vs. completely changed out. His key will still not work. I would make an appointment to have the guy THERE, re-keying the locks as he's getting his stuff out. Maybe then he'll get the hint. If he doesn't like it, tell him..my house, not your problem! Tell him clearly- whatever isn't moved today, is not getting moved. No negotiation. And if he brings the OW...if it takes everything you have- do NOT let her on your property. I think I'd even call the cops for trespassing. He has disrespected you enough, that is YOUR home.
You are doing so, so well. Your strength is amazing, whether you realize it or not. He will continue to be faced with what will be the biggest mistake of his life. The best revenge is to live well. I'd sure be ALLLLL smiles on moving day, that's for sure!
My uncle knows how to change locks and is already on the job of getting ready to change my locks on the 17th. I have moved about 75% of his things into the garage, and yet I notice some things I have moved out have made their way back into the house. WTF!!?!?
I really don't want OW on my property. But if it is on the 16th or before I don't have much of a choice, do I? He can invite whoever he wants to his property. I don't know how to get the huge recliner out of the house. I don't know why but that is a concern of mine.
H has been in the bedroom since 6pm (it is 1020 now!). Why isn't he with the OW? Think there is trouble brewing in the land of love? I don't know. I just know that whenever I wanted him home he was always with her. And now that I don't want him her, he won't go be with her!
3 days without crying! It is a new record for me. I don't know if I can make it through the day he chooses to move without crying. I will try, but it is going to be difficult. We bought this house together and to see him leave it will just be hard on me.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
"I have moved about 75% of his things into the garage, and yet I notice some things I have moved out have made their way back into the house. WTF!!?!?"
He needed them. I suggest you put them right back where he picked them up from.
"I really don't want OW on my property. But if it is on the 16th or before I don't have much of a choice, do I? He can invite whoever he wants to his property. I don't know how to get the huge recliner out of the house. I don't know why but that is a concern of mine. "
Legally.. you may have to just accept it. Ask the L. She/He would know.
"H has been in the bedroom since 6pm (it is 1020 now!). Why isn't he with the OW? Think there is trouble brewing in the land of love? I don't know. I just know that whenever I wanted him home he was always with her. And now that I don't want him her, he won't go be with her!"
WOW.. what a difference. I got a sneaking feeling.. he does not believe you.
"3 days without crying! It is a new record for me. I don't know if I can make it through the day he chooses to move without crying. I will try, but it is going to be difficult. We bought this house together and to see him leave it will just be hard on me."
See.. you are preparing. It is going to be hard. Not a happy moment for sure. What you have to understand is.. he made this choice. The man that is putting his stuff in that truck.. is not the man you love. That is the man.. that decided he could do whatever he wanted.. and now is living with his decisions. You stood up. Maybe he will some day. I know it hurts.. and I have not "been there". Still the choice was his.
Keep your head up.. and always..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Sara, I have been following your story the whole time..I haven't commented lately because to be honest months ago I thought we had so many similarities in our situation and now that I see how its turned out for you it scares me so much..that big D word really frightens me..I didn't know what to say...But I must say..if that were to happen to me i hope I can be half as strong as you are..you have such class with the way you have handled this. I don't know how I would react if my H came here with the OW..I'd probably be locked up for trying to kill them both..you are in my prayers..I know that H of yours is going to kick himself for what he's done..He seems to already be in such denial..wish you the best..keep your chin up..you rock!!
Me: 36 H: 34 2 D's: 10+13 Married: 13 yrs(Together 15) Found out about A-Jan 08 Finally ended April 08..I hope?? Struggling to co-exist in peace
Thanks FG for you words. I know the day he moves is going to be hard on me. I am prepared for that. But I also know it is the choice he has made for himself and his life. He had the chance to come back to me and he decided not to. He is going to have to live with that. I also am going to have to live with that. So I won't be chasing the truck down the street yelling for him to come back or anything crazy.
water2moon: I think about you often. I pray that your marriage does not end up like mine even though the both started off on simliar paths. I still dont' think I am that strong in all of this. I just did what I was forced to do. And you know what? Even though you think that you would do all of these awful things if you see OW and your H, I think some sort of shock takes over you and you can't do anything. I remember on that awful day in May just standing there in shock thinking, "This isn't happening right now." Even though I had said before if I ever met the OW, it would be good. But then again....the OW in my case is an Amazon and I think she would have hurt me.
It is almost 11pm and H just left. I don't know what is going on with him. My best guess is that the OW has a job where she works late. I guess he isn't welcomed over at her mom's house when she isn't home? Why do I even think about this stuff? It doesn't matter.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Don't let the move get you down. It will give you peace and time to heal not having the drama of him in your face all the time. At least you will have your clothes and soap to yourself.
Relax, deep breaths, a few more days. You are so strong and will be fine. Your marriage does not define you. Your relationship with God does. He can't change that.
