Well. I have been watching the kids all night while W is out again. Not home yet and don't really care at this point. Luckily the kids where pretty worn out from daycare and went down without vaude tonight which afforded me the opportunity to read some threads.
While I was over in Neil's thread I saw spat from FG about perspective and changing from being desperate to another state. As I enter week 4 of my sitch that post got me thinking.

Am I desperate? I believe at this point that I am because the sitch is new, I am learning to be patient, and I am still trying to figure out this whole LRT.
The challenge for me now is not only figuring out how not to feel desperate but Also how not to let WAW feel that I am desperate. She knows what I want and I guess from this point forward there really is no need for me to remind her unless she specifically asks, evec during an R talk. She knows and she's watching. I need to remember to let my actions speak!

I feel that I have been good with GAL, especially with the kids. But today I feel like a doormat as I did not object to her changing plans right after the whole schedule/boundary talk last night. I figure a 180 is in store the next time that happens.

I have also gathered through reflection and comments from W some of the things that she was drawn to in the beginning. We used to talk forever on the phone every night as she travelled constantly when we first met and when we where together, I was the shoulder for her to lean on, cry on etc...after the kids came that all ended. She also really enjoys my cooking as do I. I need to work that into my GAL and not make it a pursuing activity. My S and D enjoy helping and watching so i'll work with them and teach them and have fun with it. If she's around to benefit then great.

So I met with C today and told him about W's view of her session. He told me he gave her a copy of MWDs WAW write up. That along with the stats is probably why she hated it. She now has a label. All in all not a bad discussion. I guess I went in looking for affirmation about what I was doing but it turned more into him learning more about our issues. Basically, I need to keep up with the LRT and take note of the small things. Given what I told him about Ws view of her session, he won't be reaching out to her this week. We'll reassess next week.

After reading parts of DR again tonight, I also decided not to bring up the withdrawal as it will only create a problem and make her angry. Not what I want right now.

Venting...must be nice for W to stay out past 1030 now on a work night...when I would do out when colleagues came to town on business, I always had to be home by 900/930. I just hope she's not cranky in the am as we get the kids ready.

Well going to read more threads before my prayers. Gume in if you care. Any advicecomments are welcome.

Tia and God bless,
LS /

Me 34
W 33
D 4
S 2
M 5
T 8
Bomb 6/17/08
Served 7/17/08
I hate Tuesdays!
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