Well the W finally contacted me today and asked about some charges on the CC. We started to talk a bit and I had a major backslide as usual, and confronted her about the receipts! Stupid me, this only pissed the wife off.
She then told me she is definitely going to the lawyers on friday because she did not want them to serve me on my b-day or during that weekend. I have a feeling it is for real this time and she is going ahead with it!
am at a point where I am ready for it althoug I do not want it because I know things can change and have changed for me. I just hate to see her going down the road that she is travelling, but maybe she found her happiness on this path!
I am at a loss on what to do now, I am just gong to back off and not have any contact what so ever. I am going to focus soley on me and my kids.
Well just got off the phone with the W. I am not sure why she called but she just wanted to talk about us. She really wants to get along and such and I said I totally agree I would much rather be friends than just people who had a child together...if that makes any sense.
I said I want you to be happy in life and if this is the decision that will get you there then I will not stand in your way. We talked about the stuff that has happened between us, and she even cried and kept apologizing for hurting me!! This is the first time she has ever showed emotion since the bomb.
My brain is full of so much right now but I told her that I was going to be a happy person no matter the outcome, I will move on with my life with or without her,preferably with her but I guess we don't get everything we want.
I guess only time will tell if this is it or not, hopefully she will wait longer but I have the gut feeling that this is it.
In no way am I giving up on us yet, but I am keeping up on me and my kids, right now that is all I have.
Oh well I need to get some homework done and then off to bed.
First off don't beat yourself up too much for you 1st phone convo, let us with 2x4's do that. You were warned not to broach the subject that it would get you no where all it would do is get W angry. You have to try not to react you nibbled the carrot and then took a BIG chunk out of it. With that being said, you need to get up, brush the dust off of yourself and 'do work'.
You aren't the 1st to react with emotion you are only human, but now you can see what happens.
Okay 2nd phone call, she called cause she got busted and the guilt was eating her up, she IMO wanted to get a feeling of where you were now. You did good by validating her with wanting to get along and to be friends at this point when WAS are this angry hold your tongue listen & validate agree with them eve if you don't really agree let them vent.
Secondly you comfortered her in telling her you want her happy, that is putting her needs 1st, which you didn't do in the first phone convo. You gotta put her first she has told you that is what she needs. IMO her showing emotion could be 2 fold take caution with it she could actually be sincere in her apology's this might be true or again just getting caught.
Thirdly, your brain is full this is true lotes of emotions and thoughts going on, time to calm yourself and take a step back and regroup take a breathe alot has happened in 1 day, just be quiet for now. Her commenting about the lawyers and all maybe true or just her gut reaction getting caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Nobody says it has to be over so far it's been just a bunch of heated words many people on these boards are dealing w OP's you need to ask yourself some tough questions on what direction you want to go. You have to do this with no emotion give yourself sometime clear your mind.
Lastly, don't try and assume what she is thinking bro you have no idea right now, she has a full plate she may be realizing that she is pulling her family apart or she maybe scared what you are going to do as I said just be quiet for now.
Yes concentrate on you and the kids right now give it space and time right now let her bring things up don't fuel the fire as it were and ask things of her. Do your homework try and get a good nights sleep...
