I do think it is at the moment that the wayward spouse wants to come back to you that you have your maximum leverage. If he's not wanting to, then there's not a lot you can do other than enforce your own personal boundaries.
I still encourage you to do that, Yoyo. You will need those skills whether it be in this or a future relationship, and you will feel MUCH, MUCH better about yourself if you can learn to do this.
