Go check out a few churches. You'll make some friends and maybe find a "separated and divorce" support group. I know here in California there's Divorce Care. One of my friends went there. Some people are separated, many in divorce, and others have been through it and are healing. This type of group will offer a lot of support.
I know what you mean about bars. I had never even been in one until my H left and filed for D. I was your typical soccer mom. But I felt so depressed and lonely that I knew I needed to be around people. And even though I had friends, most were married. So when I was alone I would dress hot (had to feel I at least looked good after being dumped), go to a good resturant bar where I knew there would be people (like Elephant Bar or Friday's), and I'd sit at the bar, order dinner and a chocolate martini (yeeeeah!!!) and I'd even bring a small notebook to journal my thoughts, create poems, make shopping lists, whatever... and I'd slowly eat and just try to enjoy going out. I'd also talk with people. It was kind of neat because I met a lot of different people... couples, other women, men, young, old... sometimes I didn't meet anyone, but other times I'd have some real interesting conversations. I never tried to necessarily make "friends," but I got to listen to others talk about their life, share some of my thoughts and I just found it kind of helpful. It's funny, but now I have absolutely no fears of going into a bar alone! And I didn't used to feel that way.... of course, as a tiny woman I would limit myself to one drink and I'd be cautious about where I parked or sharing anything too personal just in case someone was a nut. The LBS is in a vulnerable position.
You can even look for local music, go see some live bands or go to events. I found anything that just got me out of the house was nice.
Tanning salon!??? Yikes!!!! You realize tanning can cause skin cancer... Are you talking about a spray-on tan? I've started using those sun screen lotions that bronze and they seem to work pretty good. Maybe you would want to try one of those. Definitely much cheaper than a tanning salon. But it's not "too tan," just enough to set off the blond hair and create a little glow.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
